Honest for one second

They tell you, "Keep your business between the two of you"..."just be strong" but who the heck do you talk to when he hasn't even been deployed a month and everything seems to be going wrong?! You've just been told by the mechanic that the car's a mess. You've got no money to afford the work it needs and double the stress! It's no longer "OUR" problem because that "WE" just turned to "ME" because I haven't spoken to him for weeks. These are the things people warn you about before becoming a military spouse. You've gotta put up with a lot of lonely days and nights...and God forbid you have to go home to a big lonely house! So I can't express my complete feelings to my friends, I don't have a therapist, and the last time I checked there was no "Call your sailor because you're losing it" list. So I've gotta suck it up, and hold my head up high...& the next time I actually speak to him, put on my superwoman cape to tell the "It'll all be fine" white lie. B/c that's what I signed up for, right? The long distance, lonely nights, and finding supportive emails to write. If I could be honest for just one second I'd say this ish sucks! I'm writing a poem with tears forming in my eyes so much that I can't even see. & who knows the next time i'll speak to my husband, because he's a sailor and is "out to sea". So with a headache, teary eyes, and a broken heart...this is the only way to actually get a head start. I gotta vent somewhere, and If I can't with my husband or my best friend...all I have is me and my notepad. Well, until I feel this way again...